About Me

Welcome to Dom Sub Living — a safe place to explore BDSM.

My name is Alesandra and I’m a 24/7 submissive in a monogamous marriage.  My BDSM roles are Sub, Masochist, and Daddy’s little girl.  My vanilla roles are stay-at-home wife and mother.BDSM Submissive day collar

Daddy and I have enjoyed kink pretty much our whole marriage, and would do light BDSM but only during sex. It wasn’t until we had been married for a while that I started getting interested in the lifestyle.  I had always called him Daddy, because I really felt like he was that protective, dominating role in my life.  But then I wanted more.

I started researching BDSM online and immediately everything just clicked: this was what I had always been wanting, and not only that, this is what I needed.

I approached my husband, shared with him what I had been reading, and told him that I wanted this 24/7. And more importantly, I needed him to want it too.  He has always been willing to try anything, and even in some ways he’s more kinkier than me, so he agreed.  I mean, what husband wouldn’t jump for the opportunity to make their wife have sex whenever they wanted?

We wrote up a contract, and in the beginning we would renegotiate and collaborate frequently.  He would ask me many times about our new relationship: “Are you sure this is what you want?” He was afraid that I would someday admit to being fake, that I was just doing it for him, and that I didn’t really want it.  That never happened, and it never will, so eventually he stopped asking.

I was surprised and delighted how seriously he took on his new role.  He would do research, make up new rituals for me on his own, and of course the sex became hotter and hotter.  However it was really our relationship that saw the most improvement.  We never judged each other as we discovered together what it truly means to be Dominate and Submissive.

All this naturally led to me wanting to start a website with my Daddy’s permission.  It was really two main reasons that led me to this decision:

  1. Misconceptions.  There is so much misinformation about the lifestyle, especially online, that it’s really frustrating when you’re trying to do research.  And whether you love or hate “50 Shades of Grey”, it has really given BDSM a bad name.
  2. Porn saturation. Even though there are a few good BDSM sites, the majority are just porn.  They have very little content, and the content isn’t even that good.  It’s just mostly porn.  I really felt that the community deserved something more serious.

I’m really excited with this new site to provide healthy exploration and a safe dialogue about all that BDSM has to offer.  Enjoy.  🖤

8 thoughts on “About Me”

  1. My husband and I are newly married and this is our second marriage for both of us. We started thinking about different thing to do to spice up our marriage. Not that is was lacking by any means. We also just felt like there was no since of order. We both really got a lot out of this page and are very excited for this chapter of our life. Being in a Dom/ Sub role make us both better to each other and just betters ourselves. Accountability and honesty in a marriage is so important and this really makes us even closer. Thanks for all the info!

    1. Thank you so much for reading and sharing about your journey! I truly believe BDSM can really deepen a relationship, and through training we can become better versions of ourselves. My Dom and I have grown so much and we could never go back. We’ve found so much fulfillment. Our only regret is we didn’t discover this sooner. Keep focused in your roles even in the difficult times, and your relationship will only get better and better.

  2. Thank you so much for this site! I’m not in a BDSM relationship nor have ever been in one since I’m just getting used to this idea. But this site helps A LOT and I do enjoy reading this. It much more informative then any other sites I’ve seen, nor does it tell you how exactly to behave or else, it kinda leaves that idea up to you. Thank you!

  3. How would I find my daddy Dom?
    I know this is the lifestyle I am to live I am untrained and I long to be with my Dom wherever he may be

    1. Finding a Daddy Dom can be challenging, but you’re not alone! There are lots of great places in real life and on the internet to meet new people. I outline some of the best places in my structured training program, Dom Sub Training. It can help you find a genuine partner and train and prepare you to serve him. Keep working at it, and I can’t wait to hear what progress you make in the future! 🖤

    2. Hi Alesandra,
      Thank you so much for investing so much of yourself, time and experience to help others find a fulfilling life that fits us and makes us happy!
      I love you for what you are doing! I know you’re keeping me safe and I’m grateful!
      I’m only just realizing that I am meant to be a sub. Hopefully I will have a kind and loving Daddy someday. but until then I will continue to read and learn from wonderful women like you! (Currently you are in a class all of your own. But you’re all I need and I appreciate it).
      Be well.
      Kind regards,

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A safe place to explore BDSM