BDSM KNEELING RITUAL

BDSM Rituals and Why You Need Them

Rituals are an important part of any healthy BDSM relationship. They help the Dominant and Submissive remember their roles, and can be a way to stay centered and focused. Read on to learn the basics and maybe pick up some new rituals to enhance your connection.

BDSM kneeling rituals

What are BDSM rituals?

Sometimes people will use the words protocols and rituals interchangeably but they are slightly different. A BDSM protocol is a hard and fast rule usually listed in a contract. A ritual is more of a way of carrying out something. It almost always involves an action where the Dom prescribes a series of behaviors for his pleasure and benefit.

Why have rituals?

Rituals are a way to discipline a Sub.  They teach them obedience and submission and keep them in the right frame of mind.  This is true for the Dom as well.  Sometimes if a Sub has been acting too rebellious or bratty a ritual can snap both parties back into their role.

I really enjoy my rituals and view them as almost solemn and spiritual.  When I perform a ritual it feels somewhat ceremonial even.  I take pleasure in knowing I’m doing something my Daddy wants and that makes him happy.

Examples of rituals

Rituals are automatic and a good Sub shouldn’t have to be asked to do it every time. If a Sub does forget (they’re not perfect) they should be disciplined to the proper degree.  A good Dom doesn’t make up rituals just for the sake of having one.  There should be a reason for them and should be for his pleasure. Here are some of the rituals my Daddy has for me:

  1. Kneeling and oral sex each night–  My Daddy usually goes to bed before me since he wakes up early, so once I’m all ready for the night, I sit in the bed next to him and kneel.  If he doesn’t wake up by then I will lightly rub him and say, “I’m ready to suck you now, Daddy.”  I will perform oral for him and he will stop me when he chooses.  Sometimes it’s after a minute, and other times I finish him completely.  I don’t stop until he tells me.
  2. Kissing him whenever he arrives home-  This is another popular ritual and one I can safely perform in front of others.  When he comes home, wherever I am in the house and no matter what I’m doing, I go and greet him with a kiss.
  3. A morning text-  My Daddy decided on the ritual of every morning texting him how I was feeling, and a detailed plan for my day.  Before this he would usually text me first to tell me good morning and that he loved me.  I loved that and didn’t want to give it up.  Respectfully I told him and he said he would continue to text me first, but then I would have to reply with what he had requested.  It was a successful compromise and we have been doing it ever since.

Can Doms have rituals too?

Yes and no.  Doms will do certain actions as a routine but they are never expected to do it as they are allowed to do whatever they want.  An example is how my Daddy opens doors for me.  Before I get in the car or enter a building he will almost always open it for me, and it makes me love him even more each time he does it.

Some rituals may not work

It may be that after performing certain rituals they will have to be eliminated.  This happened to us.  Every morning when Daddy was at work I had to let him decide my panties for the day.  I’d pick out three, lay them in a row, take a picture, and text it to him. This was fun at first and I did it for almost a month.  It ended up causing me a lot of stress though.  There were many mornings I would have to rush because it was taking up too much time.  I wanted to be a good Sub and keep trying but eventually I told him that it was hard to do.  Thankfully he told me I could stop. He still makes choices on my panties from time to time, and will often tell me to wear none when I’m in a dress or skirt.  So if a ritual isn’t working, a sub can always talk to her Dom about it respectively, or through a journal.

I find peace in rituals. They benefit both the Dom and the Sub and are essential for training and discipline.  🖤

What rituals do you have in your BDSM relationship? What works and what doesn’t?

Read more ways to keep a sub in their place »

6 thoughts on “BDSM Rituals and Why You Need Them”

  1. Great website you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any forums that cover the same topics talked about here? I’d really love to be a part of community where I can get feed-back from other knowledgeable people that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Many thanks!

  2. Hi, we have been dabbling in the lifestyle for about 10 years now and we have decided to take it to the next level. My wife(sub) has asked me assign tasks for her to carry out every day.
    The problem I’m having is finding new tasks for her to do while I’m away for work.
    We have tasks that she must carry out every day, but what I’m looking for is tasks that I can give her from time to time. I have a few, but I don’t want to keep giving the same ones over and over again.
    If I could pick your brain for some ideas that would be great.
    Thanks for your time, love your website.

    1. Hi Ronnie,
      I’m so glad you’re enjoying the website!
      That’s good that you’re wanting to create tasks for your sub, but try not to make tasks just for the sake of having tasks. They should serve a real purpose, and mold your sub into the property that you desire. So think of tasks that you want to have her accomplish in order to serve you better. Also, give her physical assignments but also mental assignments like journal prompts. And ask for her suggestions too. There’s also Dom Sub Training where members share their different tasks and get advice too. Keep working at it, and I can’t wait to hear what progress you make in the future!

  3. Good information.
    In the may not work section. Your concern was heard and was valid to speak with him, but I would like to have seen more as to the thought process before it was suspended. otherwise new timers looking for information may have a take away, ok this didn’t work so we just stop that task completely.
    Without knowing the processes you two considered and my 2cents.
    I would approached this differently by trying to lay out your clothes each night before bed. If that wasn’t doable then see if another solution was possible before ending this as not feasible.
    The thought process going into the conflicts and resolutions is what people should be aware of as well.

    Good luck on your Journey.

    1. Thank you for your comment! I can totally see how including our thought process would be helpful for those new to the lifestyle.

      Basically, I tried my best to keep the ritual, and I always did. I never failed. But instead of bringing me joy and satisfaction of serving it just brought me stress. I told my Dom, knowing full well he could say, “You’re doing it anyway.” But instead, he said he would think about it and let me know the next day. When he did, he told me that the point of the ritual was for me to know that my body belongs to him. And him knowing what panties I was wearing that day brought him pleasure. So instead of just ending a ritual, he said that whenever he wanted I would have to text a picture of me in my panties I was wearing. He did that a lot, and many times just told me to wear no panties at all.

      So he definitely didn’t allow me to top from the bottom and just get out of doing a ritual. He gave me his reasons and other protocols to perform instead. The point I just want people to realize is that don’t get discouraged if something doesn’t work as you imagined it, and be willing to make adjustments. 🖤

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